the lighter side
at a restaurant in Nepal:
Danny: Do you know where I can buy a yak-wool sweater?
Attendant: Yes, we have filtered water.
trying to communicate with the former chef of the Dalai Lama, I was quite eager to know what he had absorbed after years of his presence:
Danny: what did you learn from the Dalai Lama?
“P”: yes, lunch 12 o’clock, dinner six o’clock.
Danny, trying a different tack:
“ahh, What did he teach you?”
P: Yes, tea, 11 o’clock.
Oh, well, can’t win ‘em all. Bon appetit to you too.
Israeli girl trying to communicate that she has a hole (Hebrew=khor) in her door.
“Excuse me, we have a whore in our door.”
Israeli friend who I trekked with a bit in Nepal, let's call him "Yarok," left Israel on his first ever airplane trip. When the fasten seatbelt sign went off with the according ding, everyone started standing up and moving about the cabin. Yarok, a bit confused, says, "What, is there a buffet?"
I’d like to increase my environmental awareness and responsibility, so II ordered the mushroom masala with “green peace”.
Talking to a Nepali dude at the Bob Marley hostel in Muktinath along the Annapurna trail (who, despite our minimal conversation, naturally wanted to have his picture taken with me and me to send it to him), I found out he’s from Lumbini, where I’m planning to go in a month or so to a meditation center.
Danny: Lumbini! Ahh, I’m going to Lumbini!
Dude: You have gun??
Danny: (wtf? isn’t this the birthplace of the Buddha) “a gun??” “is it dangerous? I need a gun?”
(motioning with hand to demonstrate a gun)
Dude: you have gun?
Danny: (really taken aback by the images coming to mind of a meditation center amidst a Wild West showdown)
Danny: (realizing what the dude meant) “Ahhh, have I gone?”
Walking along the arduous Annapurna trail one day I stopped for a break and was talking with another toursit, an older man from SE Asia. He was on a bit of a tight time schedule and expressed some concern about being able to acclimatize quickly enough to make it over Thorung La pass (17,700feet) and make his flight.
Danny: “Are you taking diamox?” (a pill that helps increase oxygen in the blood and facilitates acclimatization)
Older man: “No. I’m taking viagra.”
Danny: (a little bit confused as to why he’s telling me this.) “Viagra??”
Older man: “Yea, they say it makes it easier.”
Danny: “Huh.” (and to myself, “And I thought viagra was supposed to make it harder” )